Something happened a few days ago – our religious community was presented with pictures of a gay wedding in Canada, the first to be publicized to a great extent. A relative of one of the men had a high position in one particular organisation and this caused a great deal of backlash towards not only the individuals involved, but to the whole organisation.
For the purpose of this post, I’m fully putting aside my own beliefs and opinions about homosexuality. What I will state however is that I have many gay friends, some of whom I have connected with on a level I haven’t with anyone else. Their sexuality does not bother me and I treat them in the same way I treat all of my friends – with respect and love.
I can fully understand the fact that this was a shock to the system for members of the community. Quranic Ayah after Quranic Ayah were posted, hadith after hadith all over my Whatsapp groups and Facebook. People were appalled that marriage, something so sacred, was being “ruined” and publicised as if it was something to be celebrated. Now, I can understand the shock, I can understand the idea that people are afraid of normalising gay marriage in our community, I can understand that people have their own opinions and want to state them on social media. I do not understand the lack of humanity the community has been portraying.
The words “disgusting” and “evil” were repeatedly being used. Some in reference to the act, some in reference to the individuals involved. There were many statements involving condemning people to hell, talking about the disgrace they are, how it is our duty to forbid certain acts as per Islam’s teachings (I can talk about Amr bil Ma’ruf [enjoining the good] and Nahi Anil Munkar [forbidding the evil] some other time, that’s not the purpose of this post).
I was appalled. Who are we to call someone disgusting or evil? Who are we to judge someone to that extent? Who are we to act as if we are better than others, as if we do not sin ourselves? Where is your akhlaq? Your respect for human beings? Your kindness, tolerance and acceptance that Islam teaches? In a discussion, someone claimed that this is a greater sin therefore is worse than other sins and can be responded to in this way. Is listening to music not a greater sin? Despair in the Mercy of Allah (swt) – do we not do this in our hopeless hours? Disobeying parents? Breaking relations with family? We do not go to people, or indeed to ourselves, when these sins are committed and throw around words like disgusting or evil. I was shocked at the intolerance and inhumanity people were displaying; at the end of the day we are all human beings. They sin, we sin. This is their test, we have our tests and we all deal with them in different ways. Is it genuinely Islamic to turn around and throw such severe judgements around? Truly:
“The judgment is only Allah’s; He relates the truth and He is the best of deciders”. [6:57]
I wanted to post this not because I want to be controversial, but rather to remind people that above all, Islam teaches us to be kind and loving to all of creation. When I was at Muslim Youth Helpline, I spoke to many people from those who were having homosexual feelings to those who had come out as being gay to their family. A large number of them were experiencing hopelessness, depression, isolation from the people around them, even suicidal thoughts and tendencies. To then be faced with people in my own life showing this disrespect and judgemental, intolerant attitude made me seriously question how people can lack so much empathy. This could have happened to any of us, we do not know the struggles they are facing or have faced. Maybe we should show empathy instead of intolerance, love instead of hate. Maybe then we will demonstrate the true message of Islam – kindness.
“Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values” – Ellen DeGeneres.
Soul of a Believer 